As I sat on my couch drinking a beer and watching ‘Boy Meets World’ reruns, there came a knocking on my chamber…er…apartment door. I opened the door and to my complete shock the FBI had found me. Remembering then that I was not a wanted fugitive, I reassessed the two gentlemen’s attire and realized that I was not being oppressed by the government but merely assaulted by God’s Brownie Scouts, The Jehovah’s Witnesses.


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