As Americans, we have been raised to care more about surface than substance—and giving a good damn about exactly the wrong things to a fine art. After all, we have turned our backs on public schools, elected presidents based on sound bytes and smiles and we think the best way to preserve freedom is to make it against the law to burn a flag.

Indeed, we are a proud people. We are also a stupid people. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, we have terrible taste in music. This is the main thrust of what I wanted to talk about today, but I thought it best to insult the country of my birth because I like telling the truth and because it’s America—and I get to.


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